This next week we will be discussing Natalie. More specifically her gullibility. And ridiculous things that she has said and done. Unfortunately (or fortunately for you), Natalie is REALLY, REALLY gullible and ridiculous.
So to kick this week off, I am going to start with a story about how stupid I can be. This comes with a warning label. Sometimes I talk without thinking. And sometimes Troy almost crashes his car because he is laughing so hard. Off a bridge. Into the Chesapeake Bay. And almost kills us. But alas, I am going to tell you the story anyway. Troy will NEVER let me forget it. Because I was THAT dumb. OR CREATIVE! Depending on how you look at it. TROOOOOYYY!
You be the judge.
So about 4 years ago, Troy and I were driving from Dover, Delaware to Wilson, North Carolina to visit his family. We normally drove through Washington, DC and down 95 to get there following route 1:
One time, we decided to take this route. It was only 3 miles further, but it took an extra 40ish minutes. We were getting sick of the same ole drive so we decided to switch it up and take the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and Tunnel system from the peninsula of Maryland and Virginia down to Virginia Beach area. You can see it on the map where it looks like you are driving over the ocean following route 3:
So the whole waterway part is a GIANT system of bridges and underwater tunnels. It's like a half a mile above water and then a half a mile under water. It's really pretty. A nice change of scenery from our normal drive, right?? WRONG.
All of a sudden, we are seeing a TON of this (picture from here):
And WITHOUT even thinking, I say:
Natalie: Huh. This is really weird.
Natalie: I wonder when the truck realized one of his cages were open.
Troy: (trying not to laugh because he knows where this is going but wants to see if I'll actually go there) Excuse me? What truck? We haven't seen hardly any cars, let alone trucks.
Natalie: You know. Look. The chicken truck. One of his cages was open. Look at all the chickens.
Natalie: What? Deductive reasoning here. Dead chickens. They must have fallen off a truck.
Troy: WORST DEDUCTIVE REASONING EVER!!!!!
Natalie: What? Haven't you ever seen those trucks driving around with chicken cages on them?
Troy: BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA!! Please please stop! I'm gonna pee!
Natalie: Can you please let me in on the joke?
Troy: Okay, we're outside now. Do you see anything flying around in the sky that's white right now?
Natalie: Um, yeah, but they're seagulls.
Troy: (looking at me expectantly, waiting for the light to turn on) Keeping talking. And doing your "deductive reasoning."
Natalie: No, this is different. The chickens are on the ground. How would seagulls strategically land ONLY on the bridge. It's too coincidental.
Troy: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you have to stop...
Natalie: Did they get hit by a car?
Troy: (smacks me in the forehead Aladdin style) She can be taught!
Watch at :48 - :54 seconds for reference. And yes...he does this to me whenever I say something stupid and then realize the stupidity of my statement.
This is a true story. And every time we are on a bridge and we see a dead seagull, Troy is like "LOOOOK NATALIE!! A CHICKEN!!" And I'm like "you're stupid."
Except I'm stupid.