"The Q-tip is Napping" - Direct Quote from Troy

Avery is currently walking. I will get a video soon. Like when she starts walking and I have time to get a video camera. I wanted her to walk for so long. It's seriously adorable. However, with more mobility, comes more speed, comes more mischief.

With that said, she is completely obsessed with trash. Like Oscar the Grouch. We have the dirty kid. She is like Pig-Pen on Peanuts. We go out for BBQs and she is filthy. She is at this awkward age where she MOSTLY crawls, like 90% of the time. All the other kids are walking or very small, like less than 6 months old. So she tries to keep up with the big kids and winds up SO DIRTY! And we just let her be dirty. Bath night is every night.

Anyway, she is into EVERYTHING! She opens cabinets and takes stuff out. She figured out how to open doors. We are in the handicapped unit and have the lever openers rather than knobs, so she can just get on her tip toes and crack the door open. While you are going to the bathroom. Or showering. She's like a ninja. You're all warm and cozy in the shower and all the sudden there is a gush of freezing air and a tiny little ice cube touches your leg. Or so you think. But it's a filthy baby hand. I think we have officially entered the "toddler" phase."

The following is an actual conversation Troy had with Avery. I was washing my face or something. Aka not available for redirecting. Troy was getting dressed and watching Avery whilst she toddled around. (I really wanted to use whilst. QUICK english teacher was that correct???)

Avery reaches into the trashcan in the bedroom and pulls out all the trash and chooses a q-tip as her nasty weapon of choice.

Side note - We DO NOT buy off brand q-tips. They do not clean the inside of your ears as well. They bend when you scrape the inside of your ear or do not have enough fuzz on them. You can quote me on that. DO NOT tell me that cleaning the inside of your ears is bad and causes more wax and all that other stuff. Troy and I are addicted I tell you. WE NEED IT!

T: Avery, no ma'am. Yucky, yucky trash! (takes the q-tip and cleans up all the trash and then walks over to pick up the phone in the room that is not plugged in) OH you want to talk to Avery?? She's right here. AVERRRRYYY! The phone is for you!

Avery continues to pull trash out of the trashcan and waves the waxy q-tip at him. And Troy walks over to her carrying the phone and snatches it away again.

T: Avery, yucky yucky. (puts trash back into the trashcan) Look at this!! This is fun (while walking her away from the trashcan and towards the phone)

Avery has now picked her feet up off the ground, with them bent up all the way to her chest and Troy is carrying her by her arms, which are extended straight over her head. I am laughing. Or snorting. Whatever.

He sets her on the ground and she immediately regroups and Flash Gordon crawls back to the trashcan and starts pulling stuff out before Troy can get his shorts zipped.

T: Avery, yucky yuck. The q-tip is napping. Sleepy q-tip. He doesn't want to be woken up. Put him in his bed.

I was dying. Really? Sleepy q-tip? The things you say to redirect your children from things you don't want them to touch. Have you ever lied to a child to get them to do something? Or not do something?