You Googled What?

So, I have some running stats on the home page of the blog where I do all the behind the scenes and design stuff. Trust me, the blog that you see does NOT look that way when I write it.

I have a place where there are running stats on the blog. Like how many hits per day, the post with the highest number of hits, the countries that people are located in while reading the blog, and what operating system they use (windows, a mobile device, etc).

There is also a part that tells me what keyword/phrase they typed into Google/Bing/Yahoo to find the blog. There are some interesting ones. That make me laugh really hard. Some are super inappropriate. Some are useful.

Mostly, the things that come up make me realize the WEIRD things that people google.

1. Where is my ovary?

This is clearly an image search. With a REALLY high ranking on google images.

2. What is hormonal mess?

Me. Obviously.

3. How can I help my hormonal teenager daughter?

Great. I'm giving parenting advice to parents of teenagers. And I don't have any. This may be a little premature, all of you Googlers out there. Hit me back in 10 years. Hopefully never.

4. Dog balding with little black spots

That is related to Optimus's episode of alopecia. Poor guy.

5. Elective reduction risks

The is my MOST popular search word. The second is severe ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. Google image that my friends. I am pasted all up over that.

6. Purple sock vag

No comment. When did I ever talk about vaginas. And purple socks. People are freaks.

7. Nose pinch

What?

8. Alien mucus

This is from when the babies were sick and blowing big snot bubbles the size of their heads.

9. Big hip bald ass

What the what? Again. There's some freaks out there.

10. Boobs without cloths

The had to be a pre-teen who didn't know how to type "naked chicks." Or spell "clothes."