DIY Play Kitchen Part 2: Decorations

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!

Troy and I are building Avery a play kitchen out of an overhead kitchen cabinet I snagged for $39 from the Habitat for Humanity Restore. You can read about all the details here.

Since then, I have made some decisions about decorations and color.

I was on the fence between hanging an outdoor photo and curtains to cover the hole in the back of the cabinet or hanging art.

I decided to go with art. I headed over to Michael's with some online coupons for ideas. I ended up snagging a 3 frame picture frame that was 7.99$ and using a 50% of 1 item coupon.

I painted on some paper, red acrylic paint and a brush that I already owned. This is what I came up with. It is going to hang down longways with the spoon at the top to cover the hole, which will be right over the sink.

I also grabbed some "oven burners" while I was there. In the wood section, there were raised circular trivets for about 50 cents a piece, so I grabbed 4. I didn't have any grey paint, so I just mixed some up at home with black and white and painted all 4. They will need a good coat of clear finish, but overall, I'm pretty happy with how they turned out.

This should give you a mental image of where I'm going with this whole thing. We also found a jig saw for cutting the sink hole and "oven door" for the plexiglass. All I can say is THANK GOODNESS my Dad is here this weekend. He says the sink is going to be tricky, so I'm glad that he's here to help with some of that. Once we get the kitchen configured, I can get to the FUN stuff. Painting and accessorizing. You know, the girly stuff :)

I already got the paint colors for the kitchen (paint and primer in one for us lazy DIYers) and picked up some tap lights for inside the oven and for overhead. I also got a small 8x10 piece of plexiglass for the oven window.

Laura came through with all the bakeware and food but we are short the pots and pans.

She sent me this picture from her Ikea run:

THE WHOLE SHELF IS EMPTY!! You can see the bakeware in the picture to the right. Don't worry, my friend's mom is running by Ikea in DC to get those so that Avery can make us some macaroni and cheese on Christmas day. SO EXCITED!

But as a side note: HOW DOES LAS VEGAS NOT HAVE AN IKEA?!?!?!? That is just crazy town. The closest IKEA is in southern California, almost 4 hours away. Annoying. And Ikea doesn't ship a lot of things. Furniture mostly and almost none of the smaller, cute, and functional things. Sad face :(

Santa's Little Helper

First of all, thank you all for the support and love you showed me yesterday. Your messages, comments, and texts were overwhelming. It's great to know that everyone has doubt and questions themselves regardless of the decisions that they have made for themselves and their families. I felt all of your prayers and will be praying for you guys too.

My Dad came to visit last weekend and one his "must do's" was to get Avery's picture taken on Santa's lap. She also had to "look like a girl and wear a dress." My dad's words, not mine. Implying that Avery doesn't always look like a girl. I catch SO much crap from my sisters and my Mom and Elaine (my stepmom) that Avery doesn't wear enough dresses. And then they all buy her these scratchy tutus that Avery doesn't wear because, really? And I DO dress her up for appropriate occasions.

1. Are you freaking kidding me? I have the dirty kid. I went outside 2 times last week from pouring a cup of coffee and Avery was straight up carrying around dog poop. Does this also reflect on me as a parent? Sure. I'll turn my back for 2 minutes to pee or get a drink. BUT she will roll around and put dog poop in her pockets. Why am I going to put her in a dress and tights? Come on.

2. I put her in dresses all the time! Seriously. I just put pants on underneath them because Troy wants her to be modest. Bloomers aren't enough for him.

3. It's starting to get cold and I am not going to get her all gussied up with nowhere to go, just to fulfill some desire of my family for her to be frilly. If she decides to wear bows and ribbons and tutus, that's up to her. But for now, I am a practical momma. And if that just means pink, purple and teal t-shirts with jeggings, that's fine by me.

Okay, I'm off my soapbox. They'll see when they have a little girl. You'll see...

On Saturday morning we all loaded up in the car and headed down to the Fashion Show Mall. Which is everything that name implies. I don't know how often they have fashion shows there, but there is a runway in the middle of the mall. And it's super high end. Most of the mall is designer shops. Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdales, Versace. That stuff.

We finally figured out where Santa was located (not in the middle, that's where the runway is) and headed over there. The best thing about living in Las Vegas? FREE PARKING EVERYWHERE! It's awesome.

So we put Avery in her Christmas costume and she gets her first look at Santa. She looks like she's giving him the stink eye. All "I don't know about this." I honestly thought she was going to freak out because she has about ZERO experience with anyone over the age of 60 or with that much facial hair.

Then she was saw the set up and was like "BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!" And proceeded to hug all of the oversized ornaments on the ground around his little picture booth. She had everyone laughing.

This is her walking to the ornament directly to the left of Santa to give it a hug. He chuckled. All "ho, ho, ho."

How great is this Santa? He should have been on the Macy's float. And he was great with Avery too. We started by all of us sitting with him and Avery sitting on Troy's lap for a few practice shots. Then we put her on Santa's lap for a few shots. And then we all got up and she screamed for a minute. Then I handed her a set of jingle bells and she halfway smiled at the bells. The photographer was good and got lucky with this shot:

I mean, really? Isn't it SO cute??? I just love it! Santa was sitting inside a giant, tufted ornament that was cut in half. I'm glad that we put Avery in green, or she would have looked like a floating head in all that red. My mom sent a box the day before with that elf outfit in it. Good timing, Mom!

I tried to get a good picture of Avery and me, but that didn't so much pan out. She was too excited about all of the balls. And I can't help but laugh because I'm immature. She was running around yelling "BALLLLLLLL, BALLLLLLLL" and hugging them. Adorable.

Living Per Diem

I am so blessed. Like God has blessed me and my family in ways that I cannot explain, fathom, or understand. But Lord, I need your help. I am NOT stay at home mom material. It is too hard. There is SO much pressure for everything to be perfect. And you know that I am not. And I think I'm going to crack under the pressure.

Pinterest does not help. You see things that people are doing or pinning. Now whether or not they are things that that person has done or plans to do, I feel like if I am not doing them, I am not being a good parent. There are so many things that I could do better, or do more, or bake, or craft. Pinterest does not help with the pressure. It makes it worse.

Life is not perfect. Like these pinterest cupcakes...things don't work out like you plan sometimes.

This is a really hard post to write because I have friends who wish they could be stay at home moms, but for financial or personal reasons, they are working. It is so hard for me to explain to other people sometimes that I don't need to work, but I choose to. I am a better mom and wife when I am working. Writing it down and putting it out there for the whole internet to read forever and ever is hard because I feel like it makes me a bad mom. But here it goes:

I don't want to be a stay at home mom.

When Troy and I are in transition times (when we are moving, Troy is in training, or I was waiting to take my board exams) I don't usually work. There is so much to do during those times. And getting hired at a hospital (my job of choice) is really time consuming for about a month. During these times, Troy and I fight a lot. In addition to the added stress of moves, I turn into a rabid dog. I have this unsettled, unaccomplished, restless feeling that I can't shake. And I take it out on Troy because he gets to "escape" and go to work.

This was before we had Avery too, so this isn't just about being a stay at home mom. This is just life in general. Allow me to explain.

After I graduated from OT school, there was about a 5 month period between me graduating and then studying and taking the boards to me starting my job. It was rough. We didn't have a ton of money so ANY KIND of shopping was out, we weren't active in a church yet, so that was out. I felt like a kept woman, which I know is ridiculous. Troy would come home from work and I was like the impatient puppy - talk to me, pay attention to me, take me out, snuggle me. And he just needed about 30 minutes of "cool down" from work time to decompress whereas I was bouncing off the walls with energy from sleeping until 11 and then reading and watching re-runs of America's Top Model all day.

I was so jealous that Troy had this whole separate work life that didn't include me and I was stuck at home. And involved in all these adult decisions and conversations that I wasn't having. And since I wasn't working, my only job was to clean, cook and do errands. I was like "DUDE! THIS IS YOUR HOUSE TOO!" Ugh, the arguments. They were terrible. And the thing is, I totally get it. I'm not working. My job is to do house stuff so that when Troy is home, we can just be together and not have to do yucky stuff. But I still resented him for it. He got to go to work and have adult time and make money and I got to scrub toilets. NO.

Don't even get me started on how mad I was when we left Dover. I loved my job there. And all my co-workers. My last day of work was like May 1st and Avery was born May 7th and the movers came like May 15th. It was so much change at once. And I just wanted to keep my job. I clung to it. Alas, Troy drug me kicking and screaming to San Antonio. Where we lived from September to February. And since we learned so much about my inability to be sane while not working after graduation, I got a job there. We had already decided that even if I didn't have a "take home pay" after paying for childcare, it was still worth it for me to go to work and not make money just because I am a happier person, wife, and mother.

I hadn't worked in 6 months and it felt SO GOOD to be back and my every thought not be "when was the last time I nursed?" or "do I have enough time to run to the store with Avery before nap time and she has a melt down in the store?" And you know what? It was good for Avery too. After being with ONLY me for 6 months, she had to learn that different people do things different ways and that's okay. One of our friends agreed to watch Avery for me while I was at work, which was awesome, because I already trusted her and had no issues my first week back. I RAN out the door. Sweet escape.

I feel like I need to clarify what I mean by "escape." It is SO easy to escape my own life and problems with my job. As an OT, you have to gain and develop an understanding for another person's life so that you can help them regain their independence. In order to do that, you are asking them some pretty personal questions about their families, routines, habits, and hobbies. You are getting a mental image of the inside of someones home, car, or office space. I get to go to work and literally pretend like my patient's life is the center of my world. 8 - 12 times in a row. I LOVE my job. I get to leave all my problems and issues at home and just focus on the problems of someone else. It's amazing.

I depend on my job to recharge. I need it because when I am away from Avery, I cherish our time together SO much more. Instead of feeling trapped at home with her, I feel like I am privileged to be at home with her. I WANT to take her to the park or read with her. Instead of feeling like I HAVE to. Because that's what good moms do. I need that time apart to be engaged when I am at home.

My job is hard right now. Around the holidays, no one wants to go to the hospital. And if they do go to the hospital, they want to go home as soon as possible for the fun stuff that comes with the Thanksgiving/Christmas season. They don't want to go to rehab and stay for up to a month and go home after that. Unfortunately, I am a "per diem" employee. Meaning that I work "per day" for my pay. If there is not a need, then I don't work. I have been working 1/2 days for about 3 weeks and I got called off on 2 of my 3 work days last week.

The good thing about this is, I get paid hourly and don't work full time because I don't need insurance (because Troy is in the military) and the bad thing is that if I don't work, I don't get paid. Which makes sense, of course. I am scheduled to work 3 days a week. But the past 3 weeks have been ROUGH.

And if I haven't had time to recharge at work, I am exhausted at home. I don't want to clean or cook or play with Avery. I am just OVER IT. I feel like we are doing the same things everyday. Troy and I are arguing and he's like "dude, GO TO WORK!" and I'm like, "I'M TRYING YO!"

I understand that everyone is different. I know that I am so blessed to be in a position where I can CHOOSE when to work. It is such a luxury in this economy. I know there is the debate of stay at home mom vs working mom. But I am so lucky that I can be both. I get to work 3 days a week (which I try to line up with Troy's weekend) and be home for 4. I respect stay at home moms SO much. I wish that it was easier for me. It's SO hard. I'm not perfect and life isn't perfect. But for me, it's easier to explain when my house is messy and the laundry is overflowing and the dishes aren't done that "I worked today." It's my excuse. I need one. I have too much pride to admit that "we just had a bad day."

So pray for me. Pray that I can let go of my pride. Pray that I can go to work. Pray that I can have patience. Pray that I can be obedient. Pray that I can find other ways to recharge. And not compare myself to other "super moms." Or pinterest.